Doggy Mommy Position Available This is a full time position including unpaid overtime holidays, and weekends. You will need to be available at least 3 times a day everyday to take us on walks. If you sleep in we will jump on you and lick your face until you get up.
We don't care if it is raining, snowing, 100 degrees, or if it is so windy we could blow away. We want to go on a walk for potty time. During our walk expect us to pull your arm out of the socket when we see a squirrel, tie you up in our leashes, and want to eat every piece of disgustingness we find (the smellier the better). After our walk we expect to rest while you prepare our breakfast. We might or might not want to have water when we get inside but if there is no fresh water in our bowl expect the evil eye. Please do not think you can have breakfast first this is just not allowed. We prefer homemade nutritionally balanced meals twice a day otherwise we will eat Keen from The Honest Kitchen.
During the day we prefer to sleep. You must have comfy dog beds, pillows, couches, and chairs for us to rest on in every room. Understand that if you allow one of us to sleep on your lap the other one will want to as well. Do not think you can have a job outside of the house. If you do need to leave for a few minutes you will need to give us something very yummy when you get home. Expect us to act like you have been gone for years and that we are starving to death.
If we get sick or injured we expect you to be well versed in veterinary medicine degree preferable so you are able to diagnose and treat most normal ailments. We get upset tummies on a regular basis you should know when we need medication and what kind. Eating frogs and foaming at the mouth is something you should know how to deal with at home. If we scratch our eyes from playing in the bushes you should be able to take care of it. If we suddenly start limping you should know to check our paw pads even if we don't want to show them to you. Expect to have to pull a bur out with your bare hands while we squirm.
We prefer a mommy who between walks likes do quiet things so we can sit on her lap and cuddle. Whenever you have something to eat we want some. Please make sure to give us some too.
At night the only proper place for us to sleep is in your bed unless we choose to sleep under the bed or in our crate – this is our choice though not yours.
Sincerely,
Davinia and IndianaThe Two Little Cavaliers
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